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Sarwar A. Raz

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Urdu Shaa,iree-3
« on: July 25, 2013, 12:59:50 AM »
dosto: Namaste aur aadaab!

yeh Khat kaafee der se likh rahaa hooN. yeh Khat Urdu Shaa,iree ke usooloN ke baare meN naheeN hai aur is liye kuchh logoN ko uljhan ho saktee hai. baat asl meN yeh hai keh maiN jab is series kaa  aglaa lekh likhne aayaa to dekhaa keh aap log "taqtee" kee mashq (practice) meN sirf lage hee naheeN haiN bal keh bohat door nikal gaye haiN. mere lekhoN kaa maqsad (purpose) bhee taqt;ee hee hai. so jab aap ko taqtee aatee hai to phir lekh kee zaroorat naheeN reh jaatee. maiN ne Rashmi jee aur Vikas se is baare meN baat kee aur bataayaa keh meraa likhna, nah likhnaa baraabar hai. phir sochaa to behtar yeh maloom huwaa keh aap logoN se kuchh baateN kar looN. us ke bad hee in lekhoN kaa faisilah ho saktaa hai.

in lekhoN ko tai,yyaar karne meN bohat mehnat aur waqt lagtaa hai. is liye agar in kee zaroorat hai to maiN likhooN gaa warnah naheeN. ab tak jo likhaa hai us par 2-3 dostoN ne hee feedback diyaa hai. is se andaazaa hotaa hai keh ziyaadah logoN ko in lekhoN se dilchaspee naheeN hai. har lekhak ko feedback kee zaroorat hotee hai taa keh who apnaa kaam behtar banaa sake. agar aap feedback naheeN deN ge to mujh meN likhne kee himmat kahaaN se aaye gee?

doosree baat taqtee ke baare meN hai. aap log jo kuchh taqtee ke naam se kar rahe haiN woh taqtee naheeN hai!!!!!! taqtee sher yaa misre kee kee jaatee hai. jo kuchh aap kar rahe haiN us ko :lafz kaa wazn bataanaa: kehte haiN. chaliye yehee sahee lekin alfaaz (shabdoN) kaa wazn bataane meN bhee aap logoN se GhalatiyaaN ho rahee haiN aur koyee un ko durust karne waalaa naheeN hai. is kaa nateejah yeh ho gaa keh aap kaa yeh kaam mere aage aane waale lekhoN se "conflict" kare gaa. is kaa ilaaj honaa chaahiye. aap kaheN ge keh taqtee kee laRee meN kyaa Ghalatee horahee hai?

(1) aap alfaaz Ghalat likh rahe haiN. aap bataayeN keh aap kaisee shaa,iree karnaa chaahate haiN? agar Urdu Ghazal likhnaa hai to  us meN jo Urdu ke aasaan lafz aayeN ge woh saheeh hone chaahiyeN. Ghalat lafz likh kar aap saheeh shaa,iree naheeN kar sakte. agar Ghalat lafzoN ke saath aap Hindi meN Ghazal likhnaa chaahate haiN to phir mere yahaaN zaroorat naheeN hai. aap mamoolee lafz bataane ke ba'd bhee Ghalat likhte haiN:

aagaaj, fir, galat, jaroor, jakham, tassavur, jiyada, taaluk, iltizaa etc

Urdu ke lafz naheeN haiN aur shaa,iree meN istamaal naheeN ho sakte haiN. maiN ne is se pehle bhee kahaa thaa keh shaa,iree ke liye aap ko thoRee see Urdu (English kee madad se) seekhnaa ho gee. agar aap yeh naheeN kar sakte haiN to phir aap ko mere zaroorat naheeN hai. aap kaheN ge to maiN aisee kitaabeN bataa saktaa hooN jo English kee madad se aap ko aasaan Urdu sikhaa saktee haiN.

(2) aap log bohat se alfaaz kaa wazn bhee Ghalat likh rahe haiN. wazn Ghalat ho gaa to sher bhee Ghalat ho gaa! jab tak koyee aisaa dost aap kee madad naheeN kartaa hai jo Urdu jaantaa thai aap wazn kee GhalatiyaaN karte raheN ge. misaal ke liye yeh teen lafz leejiye. in teenoN kaa wazn aap kee mehfil meN Ghalat likhaa jaa rahaa hai. aise aur bhee bohat se lafz haiN: raNg , raNgeeN, raNgeen.

(3) aap log 1-2 kee gintee se wazn kar rahe haiN. so to kaam chal jaaye gaa lekin 1-2 kee gintee sirf lafzoN ke wazn dekhne meN kaam aa saktee hai. jab misra yaa sher diyaa jaaye gaa to yeh kaam naheeN kar sakeN ge. is kee wajh yeh hai keh 1-2 se sher kee rawaanee (fluid enunciation) naheeN parkhee yaa bataayee jaa saktee aur rawaanee shaa,iree kee jaan hai.

(4) aap Facebook par jaa kar aise logoN kee shaa,iree dekheN jin kee zabaan Urdu naheeN hai aur us kaa muqaabila mere dost Darshan Sachdeva "Daanish" Bhaaratee kee shaa,iree se kareN. Daanish kee zabaan Punjabi hai lekin un kee shaa,iree bohat achhee Urdu meN hotee hai; aap bhee yeh kar sakte haiN. sirf mehnat kee zaroorat hai.

aap sab dostpN se nivedan hai keh mujh ko isee laRee meN be-laag aur saaf saaf likheN keh kyaa honaa chaahiye aur kyaa aap ko meree zaroorat hai? agar hai to maiN sewaa ke liye tai,yyaar hooN lekin is kee shart yeh ho gee keh kaam tareeqe aur usool se ho gaa. aap ko zabaan saheeh likhne kee koshish karnee ho gee aur shaa,iree ke usool seekhne hoN ge.

aap ke jawaab kaa intizaar hai. Khush rahiye.

Sarwar A. Raz

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Re: Urdu Shaa,iree-3
« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2013, 02:21:52 PM »
Aadarniya Sarwar Raz sahib, sabse pahle to deri se aane ke liye mazarat khwaah huN. Aapki sabhi baatoN ko Gaur se padha maine. Sahi bhi hai. Lekin kuch alfaaz aapke saamne rakhne ki ijaazat chahunga.

MaiN Ghalib, Jaun Eliya, Alvi jaise kuch bade shairoN ko padhta huN. Bahut saraahta huN aur kayi dafa unse milne ki aarzoo bhi kar baithta huN jabki maiN ye achchi tarah samajhta huN ki ye mumkin nahiN hai. Na to maine kabhi unke kisi work par koi chitthi likhi na hi wo mujhe jaante haiN ya yuN kahiye ki na kabhi jaan sakenge. MaiN to hazaaroN hazaar chaahne waaloN meN se ek chehra huN bus. Maanta huN ki feedback bahut zaruri hota hai, writer bhi dil laga kar kaam kar pata hai. Lekin 40 padhne waaloN meN se koi chaar hi kabhi aapse wabsta hote haiN. Aaj shayad aapko is baat par shaqq bhi ho lekin aisa aapke sath bhi kabhi na kabhi zaroor hua hoga ki koi aapko aakar mila aur bataya ki aapko falaaN jagah mila tha aur tab aapko pata chalta hai ki us jagah se bhi koi jana hai. Aap bahut bada naam haiN urdu adab meN. Aapse hum jaise log bahut kuchh seekhte haiN. Please koi negative khayaal dil meN na laayeN aap.

Taqtee par sirf itna kahunga sir ki naye logoN se ghalatiyaaN aksar hoti haiN aur yahaaN unko sudhaarne bhar ka hi kaam karna hai hum sabhi ko. Aap umr aur ohde donoN meN group ke baaqi members se bade haiN. GalatiyoN par aap agar logoN ko jaankaari denge tabhi ye maqsad poora hoga.

Taqtee ka behtar tareeqa kya hoga is baabat aap behtar raay de sakte haiN. Meri shaairi aapke tajrube ki umr se bahut chhoti hai. Aapke articles koi ek baar padh kar aage badh jaane ki cheez hi nahiN haiN. Aapke articles to ek reference book ki tarah haiN jo har mushkil ki ghadi meN logoN ko kholni hoti hai. Umeed karta huN apne khayaal spasht roop se aapke samaksh rakh paya huN. Ye kahne ki koi zarurat nahiN ki mere jaise doosre students yahi chahenge ki aap jaise guru ki sarparasti bani rahe.
Namaskaar sir
MaiN tumheN paanch baje call karuN
Kah ke mujh ko ghadi se baandh diya

Sarwar A. Raz

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Re: Urdu Shaa,iree-3
« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2013, 02:54:13 PM »
AnjAAn jee: Namaste aur aadaab!

aap ke Khat ke liye aabhaaree hooN. maiN aap kee baat bilkul samajh gayaa lekin shaayad maiN apnaa matlab aap ko (aur doosroN ko bhee) naheeN samjhaa sakaa. yahaaN Ghalatee durust karne kee baat naheeN ho rahee hai. Ghalatee to durust karnee hee ho gee lekin yeh bhee dekhnaa hai keh Ghalatee kahaaN ho rahee hai, kyoN ho rahee hai aur aisaa karne kee zaroorat bhee hai keh naheeN? agar maiN aap ke taqtee ke forum meN dostoN kee GhalatiyaaN bataane meN lag jaa,ooN to phir aslee kaam Dheelaa ho jaaye gaa yaa ruk jaaye gaa. Urdu meN ek kahawaat hai keh "neem hakeem khatra-e-jaan aur neem mullaa khatra-e-emaan". ya'nee aadhaa hakeem aap kee jaan jokham meN Daal saktaa hai aur aadhaa mullaa aap kaa dharm! yehee haal shaa,iree aur zindagee ke her pehloo kaa hai. aap agar gyaan kisee "aadhe" guroo se leN ge to woh bhee adhooraa hee ho gaa! taqtee ke forum meN agar koyee dost logoN ko saheeh raah par lagaa sake to baat bantee hai lekin "bin guroo gyaan kahaaN se laa,ooN" waalee baat se to kaam bigaR jaaye gaa.

aap logoN kaa shauq aur lagan dekh kar dil khush hotaa hai. albattaa yeh baat zehn meN rakhne kee hai keh bachchaa ghuTne chalte chalte ek dam dauRne naheeN lagtaa hai. kuchh din us ko paidal chalnaa bhee paRtaa hai! agar aap kaam step-by-step naheeN kareN ge to us kaa Kharaab honaa yaqeenee hai.

aap yooN socheN keh kuchh din ba'd jab maiN aa kar lafz kaa wazn aur taqtee bayaan karooN gaa aur jo aap ne apne forum meN seekhaa hai us ko Ghalat bataa,ooN gaa to aap kee uljhan baRhe gee keh naheeN? aur mere liye ek mushkil yeh paidaa ho gee keh naheeN keh maiN waapas jaa kar aap ke paRhe likhe ko Theek karooN? honaa yeh chaahiye keh koyee jaankaar aadamee dostoN ko lafz kaa wazn bataane ke usool samjhaaye (jee haaN! is ke bhee usool hain!) tab forum meN jo kaam ho gaa durust ho gaa.

pataa naheeN keh maiN apnee baat aap tak poNhchaa sakaa hooN keh naheeN. bahar haal maiN sewaa ko haazir hooN. aap yaa koyee aur dost tareeqaa bataaye to kaam baRh saktaa hai.

Sarwar A. Raz

Kavita Negi

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Re: Urdu Shaa,iree-3
« Reply #3 on: July 25, 2013, 05:26:28 PM »
Namaskaar Sarwar ji,

Pehle to mai aapki bahut shukarguzar hu jo aap har waqt humara sath dete hai har choti se choti galti sudharne me....!! Aur aapki hame samjhane ki har koshish kabil-e-tareef hai...!! Bas itna kehna chahti hu ki hum sab sirf dil se likh rahe hai aur kaafi hadd tak urdu ke lafzo anjaan bhi hai..! Yahan har koi seekhna chahta hai, jiske liye har koi paryaas bhi karta hai bas Hum sabko margdarsak ki aavsykta hai...!! Yadi aap apne keemati samey se kuch waqt hame de sake to shayad hum sab kaafi hadd tak apni lekhni me sudhar laa payenge. Ek baar fir se shukriyaa aapka. :)



Rashmi

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Re: Urdu Shaa,iree-3
« Reply #4 on: July 25, 2013, 05:43:04 PM »

dosto: Namaste aur aadaab!

yeh Khat kaafee der se likh rahaa hooN. yeh Khat Urdu Shaa,iree ke usooloN ke baare meN naheeN hai aur is liye kuchh logoN ko uljhan ho saktee hai. baat asl meN yeh hai keh maiN jab is series kaa  aglaa lekh likhne aayaa to dekhaa keh aap log "taqtee" kee mashq (practice) meN sirf lage hee naheeN haiN bal keh bohat door nikal gaye haiN. mere lekhoN kaa maqsad (purpose) bhee taqt;ee hee hai. so jab aap ko taqtee aatee hai to phir lekh kee zaroorat naheeN reh jaatee. maiN ne Rashmi jee aur Vikas se is baare meN baat kee aur bataayaa keh meraa likhna, nah likhnaa baraabar hai. phir sochaa to behtar yeh maloom huwaa keh aap logoN se kuchh baateN kar looN. us ke bad hee in lekhoN kaa faisilah ho saktaa hai.

aadrniya sarwar ji ---aadaab jaisa ke aap mention kar rahe haiN ke mujh se or vikas se aap ki is baare pahle se hi baat chal rahi thi or maiN pahle jaise ab bhi yahi kahungi ke aap ka yahaN hona humaare liye sobhaagiya ki baat hai hum aapke lekhoN ki aapke vichaaroN ki kadar karte haiN
in lekhoN ko tai,yyaar karne meN bohat mehnat aur waqt lagtaa hai. is liye agar in kee zaroorat hai to maiN likhooN gaa warnah naheeN. ab tak jo likhaa hai us par 2-3 dostoN ne hee feedback diyaa hai. is se andaazaa hotaa hai keh ziyaadah logoN ko in lekhoN se dilchaspee naheeN hai. har lekhak ko feedback kee zaroorat hotee hai taa keh who apnaa kaam behtar banaa sake. agar aap feedback naheeN deN ge to mujh meN likhne kee himmat kahaaN se aaye gee?

humeiN aapke samaya or mehnat ka bhi bharpoor anumaan hai or hum kadar karte haiN aapke jajwe ki .baaki jo aap ne feedback ki baat kahi hai aap bilkul darusat farma rahe haiN ,par maiN aapka dhiyaan is ke reason ki taraf le jaana chahti hooN. Agar aap ne notice kiya ho abhi ye site bilkul naii hai or dheere dheere hum is main members jodane ki koshish kar rahe haiN or mere khyaal se active members ne mostly aapko reply kiya hai or aur jaan.ne ki jigiyaasa bhi dikhaai hai. or jaise jaise naye members aate jaayenge jaroor aapke lekh unke kaam aayenge balki agar youN kahuN ki aane waali peeDiyaaN tak iska fayda uThaane wali haiN to koi do rai nahi hogi
doosree baat taqtee ke baare meN hai. aap log jo kuchh taqtee ke naam se kar rahe haiN woh taqtee naheeN hai!!!!!! taqtee sher yaa misre kee kee jaatee hai. jo kuchh aap kar rahe haiN us ko :lafz kaa wazn bataanaa: kehte haiN. chaliye yehee sahee lekin alfaaz (shabdoN) kaa wazn bataane meN bhee aap logoN se GhalatiyaaN ho rahee haiN aur koyee un ko durust karne waalaa naheeN hai. is kaa nateejah yeh ho gaa keh aap kaa yeh kaam mere aage aane waale lekhoN se "conflict" kare gaa. is kaa ilaaj honaa chaahiye. aap kaheN ge keh taqtee kee laRee meN kyaa Ghalatee horahee hai?

taqtee ka thread shuru hone se logon ko site pe bane rahne ki ichhaa prabal hoti hai unmeiN positivity badti hai ,ummid jaagti hai ke hum bhi kuchh seekh sakte haiN or baaki rahi darust karne ki baat yahaN tak kisi ko knowledge hoti hai darusat kar diya jaata hai par aap ye kaam behtar kar sakte haiN aap humeiN sahi baat pe tokenge to hum jaroor sahi seekhenge ---galti sudhaarne ke liye galati ka pata hona bhi jaroori hai ---baaki vikas se baat ho gai hai pahli fursat meiN wo aap se is pe baat karenge

(1) aap alfaaz Ghalat likh rahe haiN. aap bataayeN keh aap kaisee shaa,iree karnaa chaahate haiN? agar Urdu Ghazal likhnaa hai to  us meN jo Urdu ke aasaan lafz aayeN ge woh saheeh hone chaahiyeN. Ghalat lafz likh kar aap saheeh shaa,iree naheeN kar sakte. agar Ghalat lafzoN ke saath aap Hindi meN Ghazal likhnaa chaahate haiN to phir mere yahaaN zaroorat naheeN hai. aap mamoolee lafz bataane ke ba'd bhee Ghalat likhte haiN:

aagaaj, fir, galat, jaroor, jakham, tassavur, jiyada, taaluk, iltizaa etc

Urdu ke lafz naheeN haiN aur shaa,iree meN istamaal naheeN ho sakte haiN. maiN ne is se pehle bhee kahaa thaa keh shaa,iree ke liye aap ko thoRee see Urdu (English kee madad se) seekhnaa ho gee. agar aap yeh naheeN kar sakte haiN to phir aap ko mere zaroorat naheeN hai. aap kaheN ge to maiN aisee kitaabeN bataa saktaa hooN jo English kee madad se aap ko aasaan Urdu sikhaa saktee hain

(2) aap log bohat se alfaaz kaa wazn bhee Ghalat likh rahe haiN. wazn Ghalat ho gaa to sher bhee Ghalat ho gaa! jab tak koyee aisaa dost aap kee madad naheeN kartaa hai jo Urdu jaantaa thai aap wazn kee GhalatiyaaN karte raheN ge. misaal ke liye yeh teen lafz leejiye. in teenoN kaa wazn aap kee mehfil meN Ghalat likhaa jaa rahaa hai. aise aur bhee bohat se lafz haiN: raNg , raNgeeN, raNgeen.

(3) aap log 1-2 kee gintee se wazn kar rahe haiN. so to kaam chal jaaye gaa lekin 1-2 kee gintee sirf lafzoN ke wazn dekhne meN kaam aa saktee hai. jab misra yaa sher diyaa jaaye gaa to yeh kaam naheeN kar sakeN ge. is kee wajh yeh hai keh 1-2 se sher kee rawaanee (fluid enunciation) naheeN parkhee yaa bataayee jaa saktee aur rawaanee shaa,iree kee jaan hai.

(4) aap Facebook par jaa kar aise logoN kee shaa,iree dekheN jin kee zabaan Urdu naheeN hai aur us kaa muqaabila mere dost Darshan Sachdeva "Daanish" Bhaaratee kee shaa,iree se kareN. Daanish kee zabaan Punjabi hai lekin un kee shaa,iree bohat achhee Urdu meN hotee hai; aap bhee yeh kar sakte haiN. sirf mehnat kee zaroorat hai.

aap sab dostpN se nivedan hai keh mujh ko isee laRee meN be-laag aur saaf saaf likheN keh kyaa honaa chaahiye aur kyaa aap ko meree zaroorat hai? agar hai to maiN sewaa ke liye tai,yyaar hooN lekin is kee shart yeh ho gee keh kaam tareeqe aur usool se ho gaa. aap ko zabaan saheeh likhne kee koshish karnee ho gee aur shaa,iree ke usool seekhne hoN ge.

aap ke jawaab kaa intizaar hai. Khush rahiye.

Sarwar A. Raz     

  baaki kisi bhi kaam ko seekhane ke liye waqt to lagta hi hai ji din bhar ki jimewaariyoN ke baad humaari koshish yahi hoti hai ke hum khud kuchh seekh sakeiN ororoN ko bhi sikhaane ka sadhan ban sakeiN poori lagan se lagen hue haiN or ummid karti hooN nek-niyati se shuru hue iss kaam meiN aapka bharpoor sahyog hummein milega aasha karti hooN aap humaari bhavnaaoN or seekhane ki ruchi ko bakhoobi samajh gaye honge --- duaaoN ke saath aapke aagaami lekh ke intzaar meiN :)


Rashmi Sharma

gooDe akkhar ,fatti sukki
adiyo meri gaachi mukki
sukke hanjhu akkhaN waale
haaDa! akkhar mooloN kaale

Rajneesh

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Re: Urdu Shaa,iree-3
« Reply #5 on: July 25, 2013, 05:54:54 PM »
sarwar raaz sahab .... sabse pahle to ham sabse agar kuchh aisa hua hai jisse aapko taqleef pahunchee ho uske liye kshama chaahta huN.. ye tay hai ki hamara maqsad aisa qataii nahiN tha.
bas itnaa kahnaa hai ki aapke lekh anmol haiN ham sab ke liye ... kaii baar ham padhte to haiN magar jawaab nahi dete ..kabhi jawaab soojhta nahiN hai to kabhi dar ke maare nahi dete ...par aagey se koshish rahegi ki jawaab bhi diya jaaye.
...shukriya ki aap yahaaN haiN aur aabhaar bhi ke aap yahaaN haiN.

Neelima Sharma Nivia

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Re: Urdu Shaa,iree-3
« Reply #6 on: July 25, 2013, 06:40:59 PM »
gazal ki duniya main abhi kadam rakhne ki soch rahi hun isliy chahti hun kei pahle iski talim li jaye .Vikas rana ji ne apni website ka pata diya hain umiid karti hun kei sarwar raaz sir  hame bhi bahut kuch seekhne ka mouqa mkilega

Sarwar A. Raz

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Re: Urdu Shaa,iree-3
« Reply #7 on: July 25, 2013, 09:55:42 PM »
Kavita, Rashmi, Rajneesh aur Neelima: sab ko Namaste aur aasheerwaad!

aap sab ke Khat paRhe. aap Theek kehte haiN. aur maiN bhee Ghalat naheeN kehtaa! :) so jab yeh tai ho gayaa to ab kaam kaa waqt hai! maiN ek-aadh din meN is laRee kaa aglaa lekh lagaa dooN gaa. jo sewaa maiN kar sakaa woh zaroor karooN gaa. Bhagwan aap ko aur mujh ko himmat aur waqt de keh ek doosre ke kaam aa sakeN.

apnaa Khayaal rakheN aur Khush raheN. do ek di meN phir bheNT ho gee.

Sarwar A. Raz

Kavita Negi

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Re: Urdu Shaa,iree-3
« Reply #8 on: July 26, 2013, 02:07:58 AM »
Kavita, Rashmi, Rajneesh aur Neelima: sab ko Namaste aur aasheerwaad!

aap sab ke Khat paRhe. aap Theek kehte haiN. aur maiN bhee Ghalat naheeN kehtaa! :) so jab yeh tai ho gayaa to ab kaam kaa waqt hai! maiN ek-aadh din meN is laRee kaa aglaa lekh lagaa dooN gaa. jo sewaa maiN kar sakaa woh zaroor karooN gaa. Bhagwan aap ko aur mujh ko himmat aur waqt de keh ek doosre ke kaam aa sakeN.

apnaa Khayaal rakheN aur Khush raheN. do ek di meN phir bheNT ho gee.

Sarwar A. Raz

Aadarniye Sarwar ji,

Namaskaar,
Hame besabri se intzaar rahega aapke agle lekh ka aur hum apni galtiyo ko sudharne ki poori koshish karenge. Aapka teh dil se dhanyawad ki aap apna bahumulya waqt hame de rahe hai...!!! Khush rahe... :)

Rajneesh

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Re: Urdu Shaa,iree-3
« Reply #9 on: July 26, 2013, 07:36:56 AM »
Kavita, Rashmi, Rajneesh aur Neelima: sab ko Namaste aur aasheerwaad!

aap sab ke Khat paRhe. aap Theek kehte haiN. aur maiN bhee Ghalat naheeN kehtaa! :) so jab yeh tai ho gayaa to ab kaam kaa waqt hai! maiN ek-aadh din meN is laRee kaa aglaa lekh lagaa dooN gaa. jo sewaa maiN kar sakaa woh zaroor karooN gaa. Bhagwan aap ko aur mujh ko himmat aur waqt de keh ek doosre ke kaam aa sakeN.

apnaa Khayaal rakheN aur Khush raheN. do ek di meN phir bheNT ho gee.

Sarwar A. Raz
ham sabke jazbaat samajhne ke liye aapka bahut bahut dhanywaad.
:)

Rashmi

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Re: Urdu Shaa,iree-3
« Reply #10 on: July 26, 2013, 09:04:55 AM »
Kavita, Rashmi, Rajneesh aur Neelima: sab ko Namaste aur aasheerwaad!

aap sab ke Khat paRhe. aap Theek kehte haiN. aur maiN bhee Ghalat naheeN kehtaa! :) so jab yeh tai ho gayaa to ab kaam kaa waqt hai! maiN ek-aadh din meN is laRee kaa aglaa lekh lagaa dooN gaa. jo sewaa maiN kar sakaa woh zaroor karooN gaa. Bhagwan aap ko aur mujh ko himmat aur waqt de keh ek doosre ke kaam aa sakeN.

apnaa Khayaal rakheN aur Khush raheN. do ek di meN phir bheNT ho gee.

Sarwar A. Raz
  shukriyaa ji, tah-e-dil se shukarguzar haiN.agle lekh ka besabri se intzaar rahega .   tab tak ke liye sadar naman or dher saari duaaeiN  :)
Rashmi Sharma

gooDe akkhar ,fatti sukki
adiyo meri gaachi mukki
sukke hanjhu akkhaN waale
haaDa! akkhar mooloN kaale

AahnaA

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Re: Urdu Shaa,iree-3
« Reply #11 on: July 26, 2013, 05:28:42 PM »
Sarwar Bhai...

salaam..

sabki baatein padhi samjhi....

main bas itna kahungi... aapke articles padhkar sikhne ka man hua hai... kuch asaan lag raha hai urdu shayri ka safar... aur mere jaise na jane kitne hi hain aur aage chalkar judenge is bazm se jo aapko padhkar samjhkar .. aage badhenge is safar pe...

maana  hum bachon se galtiyan ho gai ... par isi umeed pe hui na ke aap ho hume sudhaarne k liye... fir  daantiye .. samjhaiye ... sudhariye... ab ye sab aapki zimmedari hai... bas hum logon ko seekhna hai.. ab jaisa aap thik samjhen waise sikhaiye....

aur ek baat kahun...
mere jaise kai log hain jo padhte hain aapke articlles samjhte hain par darte hain reply karne ke kya kahen kya nahi.... isi wajah se feed back me problem hoti hai... aap uspar dhayn na dijiye plzzz....

umeed hai maine apni baat sahi tarah se kahi hogi...

aapke sath aur aapse aur zyada sikhne ki chaah hamesha rahegi

aahnaa

Neelima Sharma Nivia

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Re: Urdu Shaa,iree-3
« Reply #12 on: July 26, 2013, 05:50:35 PM »
_/\_

hamdam

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Re: Urdu Shaa,iree-3
« Reply #13 on: July 26, 2013, 06:04:12 PM »
Sarwar ji namaskar aur adaab.
Main bhi naya hun shairee ke maidan mein .Abhi oct 2012 se jura hun. Isse pehle thori bahut
poetic inclination thi English poetry mein. Phir thori tukbandi shuru ki per urdu ke
lafzon ka gyan na tha. Vikas se jurne ke baad thora seekh raha hun.

Aap ne theek kaha ki buniyaad theek honi chahiye,per aaj ke zamane mein Guru
mil pana  voh bhi shairee ke liye kafi mushkil hai. Hum log kkhushkismat hai ki
aap ki sarprasti mil rahi hai aur tutorial form mein apke khat mil rahe hain.
Inse humein hi nahin aane vale budding shayaron ko bahut sahara milega.

Aaj ke daur mein yuva peeri ( main itna yuva nahin hun) shairee mein bahut interest le
rahi hai. Isliye main aap se haath jod kar darkhast karunga ki aap unka
margdarshan karte rahein.

aap ka shukriya.......
Sanjay Sehgal

Sarwar A. Raz

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Re: Urdu Shaa,iree-3
« Reply #14 on: July 27, 2013, 02:46:48 AM »
dosto: Namaste aur aadaab!

maiN Urdu Shaa,iree-3 kal yahaaN lagaa dooN gaa. aap sab kaa bohat bohat shukriyah keh aap log mujh ko achhe lafzoN meN yaad karte haiN. waise jab maiN ne "feedback" maaNgaa thaa to us kaa matlab apnee  "waah, waah" naheeN thaa bal keh yeh poochhnaa thaa keh aap ko koyee mushkil hai, koyee sawaal hai, lekh kis tarah behtar banaaye jaa sakte haiN, kaun see information hai jo aap zarooree samajhte haiN etc? is tarah meree madad ho jaaye gee. chaliye kal mulaaqaat ho gee.

Sarwar A. Raz